I have been remiss in not posting this sooner and I apologize for that. Our cousin Wendy Smail e-mailed me copies of the eulogies her brothers Dan and David delivered at the funeral for their mother Betty Schield in January at St. Mary's church in Neillsville. For those of you who couldn't make it there, please enjoy these fond remembrances of Aunt Betty. And Wendy tells me her sister-in-law Becky Schield (David's wife) posted several photos from the funeral on her Facebook. I'll see if I can share a few of them with you here. And for those not currently living in Wisconsin, start checking those travel Web sites for air fares to the Badger State for the cousins reunion at the Never-Never Land cottage on July 21.
Love,
Robert Mullins
Dan Schield's Eulogy
On behalf of our Father and my brothers and sisters and our
extended families I want to thank you for coming. Mom would be touched by your
gestures and kindness in remembrance of her life.
I had the good fortune of being able to visit Mon and Dad
just two weeks prior to her passing. One of Mom’s favorite things was to take
us around and introduce us to all the people she knew and I can’t begin to tell
you how many times people would tell me how much they enjoyed our Mom. After
she died many people approached me with the same sentiment, “She was a great
person.” Mom loved stories and I want to tell you one that I hope will give you
some insight as to who our Mother was.
A number of years back I read a boo, written by a professor
from Iowa, about personalities and relationship dynamics. He gathered his
research by observing the behavior of cows, of all things. Now before anybody
gets any ideas, we had a lot of affectionate names for Mom but I assure you
referring to her as “An Old Cow” was not one of them!
Now this professor, whose name escapes me at present,
determined that there were four basic personalities in these cows. One he
referred to as the “dominant” cow. This cow was always trying to control and
direct all the others, “my way or the highway” sort of thinking. We all know
these types and we love them anyway, mostly because we realize they can’t help
it! He referred to the second type of
cow as the “analytic” cow. This was the thinker in the herd. His main goal was
to find the best solution for all parties involved, and of course he was
“nearly perfect” all the time-----Right!!?
Next he observed the “expressive” cow. This cow was a promoter, loved to
be the center of attention, everyone loves to be around them because life is a
party. We probably will be hearing from one shortly!
Last but not least, the fourth cow he referred to as the
“amiable” cow. Everyone loves this one. Feelings and supporting others was
important to her and she would always be there for you. When interacting with
others, she would always make them feel more important and try to divert any
attention away from her. Family was very important to her but when she spoke of
them she was never boastful and always very humble.
I think we know whom we are talking about here. That was our
Mom.
In going thru her desk, we found Christmas cards that Mom
had made out and addressed, perhaps some of you have received one. I also found
a poem that Mom had saved in a couple of places in her things. I think Mom
would have liked to have this read today so I am going to attempt to do that
for her. The title of the poem is “When I Die” and is written by an unknown
author.
When I die,
give what is left of me to others.
If you need to cry,
cry for your brothers and sisters walking beside you.
Put your arms around anyone and give them
what you need to give me.
I want to leave you something,
something better than words or sounds
Look for me in the people
I have known and loved.
And if you cannot live without me,
then let me live on in your eyes, your mind and your acts of kindness.
You can love me most,
by letting hands touch hands and letting go of the people
who need to be free.
Love does not die, people do.
So when all that is left of me is love….
Give me
away.
That was our Mother, she will be missed but always in our
hearts.
We love you, Mom.
David Schield's Eulogy
Hello, and thank you all for coming to help us celebrate the
life of our dear Mother. She would be
pleased and surprised by all of you, her friends and family that have come to
honor and pay tribute to her on this very special day of remembrance.
I’m Danny……er….Joey……Jimmy…….I mean DAVID. No, I don’t have a speech impediment, that
was a common process on how I was addressed by my Mom. As the last of her four sons, one of the
important things she taught me was……patience.
Mom was born on Feb. 1, 1920, to Bridget and Charles
McCorry, both Irish immigrants who found their way via Pittsburgh to the
Milwaukee area where they met and married.
An interesting note about Grandma McCorry, and I hope I have this right,
is that one of the reasons she was put on a boat to America was to avoid the “arranged”
or “promised” marriage to a fellow in Ireland who she did not particularly care
for. I state this only because of how
our Mom respected our decisions as her children with our spouses. She did her best not to judge any of us and
tried NOT to interfere with our relationships, whether we made good decisions
or bad decisions. I think she realized
we all have our path we must take, but the “journey” is the most important
part.
Mom’s journey was unique, as all of ours are, and they are
part and parcel to what she became, and the traits she shared with us. As the second oldest of six children, Mom had
to take an active role in the household from an early age. Her father, Charles, worked the second shift
for the Falk Corporation and when he returned from a work day, it was Mom who
volunteered to stay up with him so he could share his day with someone. She did this so that her mother and the other
children could stay asleep, sacrificing her own, a practice of sacrificing that
continued her entire life.
After graduating from Mercy High School in Milwaukee, and
two of her sisters off into the convent, and a brother off at war, she took
business classes at Marquette and then started working at Gold and McCann Law
firm. Shortly thereafter she took a job
at Marquette University where she noticed a young dental student, and after a
short 11 month courtship, married her husband, our Father, Carroll Nicholas
Schield to whom she was wed for an amazing 69 years last November. Mom never shared too much about her courtship
with Dad, but the one thing she did share was that it happened on the third
date, ……yes, it took Dad three dates to get his first kiss from Mom.
Mom and Dad married in Louisiana on Oct 17, 1942, and as a
good Catholic family had seven children, Patty, Danny, Wendy, Joey, Mary,
Jimmy, and David. I’m not sure if there
was any “official” contest, but the three McCorry girls sure did their part to
uphold the term “Good Catholic Family.”
There were seven Schields, Nine Mullines, and TEN Jonases. Now, my Mom was a competitor, another trait
we all got from her, but I could just hear her, “Well, there’s no way I’m gonna
beat those two…..to heck with it!” Her
brother Dan kicked in another four, so there still is plenty of the McCorry
Clan moving forward!
Family was always important to Mom; she did her best to make
life as happy and full of love for us as she could. Growing up Schield was not unlike all other
families. Shared responsibilities…clearing
the table, picking up our room, doing the dishes, making your beds, mouths
washed out with soap for swearing…oh ya….
All of YOU (pointing to the other kids)!
Not me. Now I’m not saying I
didn’t swear, what I am saying is that by the time Mom got to me and tried to
wash my mouth out for a little added “naughty word,” I was able to stop her and
make her “drop the soap.” It wasn’t
disrespect; it was just that I didn’t like soap! I did however learn my lesson and the
swearing stopped…well, not completely, but pretty much!
Mom didn’t come from a lot, she really didn’t need nor
desire a lot, even though we had plenty because of our father’s
occupation. Yes we had nice things and
extra toys, but the essence of Mom was not about that. She never wanted to be a burden on anyone and
was exceptionally grateful for other’s help when she needed it. In her final years at the Regency in Florida,
she continued to try and live her rule of thumb for life that was to help
anyone who is less fortunate than her.
Mom had a great life, the love of family, the close
friendship of a few, and a legacy of caring and giving that we all will carry
with us for the rest of our lives. She
passed the way she would have liked, without being too much of a burden on anyone.
Her last days were like any others with a good meal and a normal day. She passed quickly in the hospital without
much suffering.
Mom was a terrific cook and spent a great deal of her life
in the kitchen. We’d be wakened in the
morning with “put your footy’s on the hardwood…time for breakfast.” She’d have to feed Dad of course, including
having lunch on the table at Noon, then clear it all up and be ready with
dinner by 6:00 sharp! In between she’d
make sure there were batches of her famous chocolate chip cookies. Holiday time meant 3-layer cookies and a
whole assortment of special cookies, that we weren’t allowed to eat until Christmas,
and many for just for “others” and not for us.
I remember Mom making a big pot of chili and schlepping it to the
cottage where we would all leave her and go snowmobiling in the winter, come
back, eat it up, then leave again, leaving the clean up and mess for her.
Mom had her struggles and managed a lot of extra challenges
that the Lord placed on her including diabetes and of course her heart. She faced those challenges as you would have
expected her to. She managed her
medication and amazingly at the age of 79 had quintuple heart bypass
surgery. I remember watching her in
recovery the day of that surgery and wondered if it was the last time I was
going to see or speak to Mom. Well, St
Peter was not ready for her, and it turns out, wasn’t ready for her for quite
some time from that day. She was, and I
affectionately use this term….”A TOUGH IRISH BROAD.”
Her job, her wish, her success, her life was raising a
family who loved and cared for each other, and to that end she had extreme
success.
To her friends she was gracious and grateful, undemanding
and unpretentious. All traits I know she
hoped her children could aspire to.
Her generosity wasn’t always monetary. She volunteered her time at rummage sales and
the like, and importantly 16 years as a CCD teacher right here at St Mary’s.
She kept us all connected by her weekly letters, typed on
onionskin before there were copiers.
These included weekly news of the family, tidbits and updates, and even
food descriptions, whatever, but just enough to fill a couple of typewritten
pages to drop in the mail. She hit the
computer age in her 70’s and continued the emails until her late 80’s when it
just got too confusing, or not enough news to write about. The point was the attempt to keep the family
connected.
She didn’t necessarily want to “participate” as much as she
wanted to “make it happen” for family gatherings. And, she loved the “stinker”……right
Joey? Jeffrey?
She’d study the crowd and make sure all were involved and if
not, she would console to see if she could “fix” it.
She just wanted us to have a good time, especially at the
cottage aptly named Never Never Land. We
weren’t supposed to worry or work, but relax and enjoy.
I know Mom is up in heaven right now, likely politicking
with St. Peter about getting good seats for the rest of us, when we all know
that she’s gonna have MUCH closer seats than any of us. I know she’s up there, somewhere close to the
front row! I’m sure she’s busy catching
up with old friends, and of course her family.
She’s probably got a great game of Bridge going with Uncle Bud right
now, playing on a big table loaded full of sweets, candy, cookies and cake….all
the things she couldn’t have down here because of her diabetes. I’m sure if she could tell us, she’d say what
she normally did when we were together at the Cottage, or growing up, or at any
family gathering… “I’m Fine…. You kids go along now, I’ll be fine…”
Well Mom. We will go
along without you. But we will not
forget you and you will always be with us….right here…in our hearts,
forever. I love you Mom.