McCorry Family USA

A collection of postings by and about members of the extended family of Charles and Bridget McCorry who live in the United States.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

I have been remiss in not posting this sooner and I apologize for that. Our cousin Wendy Smail e-mailed me copies of the eulogies her brothers Dan and David delivered at the funeral for their mother Betty Schield in January at St. Mary's church in Neillsville. For those of you who couldn't make it there, please enjoy these fond remembrances of Aunt Betty. And Wendy tells me her sister-in-law Becky Schield (David's wife) posted several photos from the funeral on her Facebook. I'll see if I can share a few of them with you here. And for those not currently living in Wisconsin, start checking those travel Web sites for air fares to the Badger State for the cousins reunion at the Never-Never Land cottage on July 21.
Love,
Robert Mullins

Dan Schield's Eulogy

On behalf of our Father and my brothers and sisters and our extended families I want to thank you for coming. Mom would be touched by your gestures and kindness in remembrance of her life.

I had the good fortune of being able to visit Mon and Dad just two weeks prior to her passing. One of Mom’s favorite things was to take us around and introduce us to all the people she knew and I can’t begin to tell you how many times people would tell me how much they enjoyed our Mom. After she died many people approached me with the same sentiment, “She was a great person.” Mom loved stories and I want to tell you one that I hope will give you some insight as to who our Mother was.

A number of years back I read a boo, written by a professor from Iowa, about personalities and relationship dynamics. He gathered his research by observing the behavior of cows, of all things. Now before anybody gets any ideas, we had a lot of affectionate names for Mom but I assure you referring to her as “An Old Cow” was not one of them! 

Now this professor, whose name escapes me at present, determined that there were four basic personalities in these cows. One he referred to as the “dominant” cow. This cow was always trying to control and direct all the others, “my way or the highway” sort of thinking. We all know these types and we love them anyway, mostly because we realize they can’t help it!   He referred to the second type of cow as the “analytic” cow. This was the thinker in the herd. His main goal was to find the best solution for all parties involved, and of course he was “nearly perfect” all the time-----Right!!?  Next he observed the “expressive” cow. This cow was a promoter, loved to be the center of attention, everyone loves to be around them because life is a party. We probably will be hearing from one shortly!

Last but not least, the fourth cow he referred to as the “amiable” cow. Everyone loves this one. Feelings and supporting others was important to her and she would always be there for you. When interacting with others, she would always make them feel more important and try to divert any attention away from her. Family was very important to her but when she spoke of them she was never boastful and always very humble.
I think we know whom we are talking about here. That was our Mom.

In going thru her desk, we found Christmas cards that Mom had made out and addressed, perhaps some of you have received one. I also found a poem that Mom had saved in a couple of places in her things. I think Mom would have liked to have this read today so I am going to attempt to do that for her. The title of the poem is “When I Die” and is written by an unknown author.

                                       

                         
                         
                          When I die,
                           give what is left of me to others.
                          If you need to cry,
                           cry for your brothers and sisters walking beside you.
                          Put your arms around anyone and give them
                           what you need to give me.
      
                          I want to leave you something,
                           something better than words or sounds
                          Look for me in the people
                           I have known and loved.
                          And if you cannot live without me,
                           then let me live on in your eyes, your mind and your acts of kindness.
               
                          You can love me most,
                            by letting hands touch hands and letting go of the people
                            who need to be free.

                           Love does not die, people do.
                            So when all that is left of me is love….
                               Give me away.     

 
That was our Mother, she will be missed but always in our hearts.

We love you, Mom.

David Schield's Eulogy

Hello, and thank you all for coming to help us celebrate the life of our dear Mother.  She would be pleased and surprised by all of you, her friends and family that have come to honor and pay tribute to her on this very special day of remembrance.

I’m Danny……er….Joey……Jimmy…….I mean DAVID.  No, I don’t have a speech impediment, that was a common process on how I was addressed by my Mom.  As the last of her four sons, one of the important things she taught me was……patience.

Mom was born on Feb. 1, 1920, to Bridget and Charles McCorry, both Irish immigrants who found their way via Pittsburgh to the Milwaukee area where they met and married.  An interesting note about Grandma McCorry, and I hope I have this right, is that one of the reasons she was put on a boat to America was to avoid the “arranged” or “promised” marriage to a fellow in Ireland who she did not particularly care for.  I state this only because of how our Mom respected our decisions as her children with our spouses.  She did her best not to judge any of us and tried NOT to interfere with our relationships, whether we made good decisions or bad decisions.  I think she realized we all have our path we must take, but the “journey” is the most important part.

Mom’s journey was unique, as all of ours are, and they are part and parcel to what she became, and the traits she shared with us.  As the second oldest of six children, Mom had to take an active role in the household from an early age.  Her father, Charles, worked the second shift for the Falk Corporation and when he returned from a work day, it was Mom who volunteered to stay up with him so he could share his day with someone.  She did this so that her mother and the other children could stay asleep, sacrificing her own, a practice of sacrificing that continued her entire life.

After graduating from Mercy High School in Milwaukee, and two of her sisters off into the convent, and a brother off at war, she took business classes at Marquette and then started working at Gold and McCann Law firm.  Shortly thereafter she took a job at Marquette University where she noticed a young dental student, and after a short 11 month courtship, married her husband, our Father, Carroll Nicholas Schield to whom she was wed for an amazing 69 years last November.  Mom never shared too much about her courtship with Dad, but the one thing she did share was that it happened on the third date, ……yes, it took Dad three dates to get his first kiss from Mom.

Mom and Dad married in Louisiana on Oct 17, 1942, and as a good Catholic family had seven children, Patty, Danny, Wendy, Joey, Mary, Jimmy, and David.  I’m not sure if there was any “official” contest, but the three McCorry girls sure did their part to uphold the term “Good Catholic Family.”  There were seven Schields, Nine Mullines, and TEN Jonases.  Now, my Mom was a competitor, another trait we all got from her, but I could just hear her, “Well, there’s no way I’m gonna beat those two…..to heck with it!”  Her brother Dan kicked in another four, so there still is plenty of the McCorry Clan moving forward!

Family was always important to Mom; she did her best to make life as happy and full of love for us as she could.  Growing up Schield was not unlike all other families.  Shared responsibilities…clearing the table, picking up our room, doing the dishes, making your beds, mouths washed out with soap for swearing…oh ya….  All of YOU (pointing to the other kids)!  Not me.  Now I’m not saying I didn’t swear, what I am saying is that by the time Mom got to me and tried to wash my mouth out for a little added “naughty word,” I was able to stop her and make her “drop the soap.”  It wasn’t disrespect; it was just that I didn’t like soap!  I did however learn my lesson and the swearing stopped…well, not completely, but pretty much!

Mom didn’t come from a lot, she really didn’t need nor desire a lot, even though we had plenty because of our father’s occupation.  Yes we had nice things and extra toys, but the essence of Mom was not about that.  She never wanted to be a burden on anyone and was exceptionally grateful for other’s help when she needed it.  In her final years at the Regency in Florida, she continued to try and live her rule of thumb for life that was to help anyone who is less fortunate than her.

Mom had a great life, the love of family, the close friendship of a few, and a legacy of caring and giving that we all will carry with us for the rest of our lives.  She passed the way she would have liked, without being too much of a burden on anyone. Her last days were like any others with a good meal and a normal day.  She passed quickly in the hospital without much suffering.

Mom was a terrific cook and spent a great deal of her life in the kitchen.  We’d be wakened in the morning with “put your footy’s on the hardwood…time for breakfast.”  She’d have to feed Dad of course, including having lunch on the table at Noon, then clear it all up and be ready with dinner by 6:00 sharp!  In between she’d make sure there were batches of her famous chocolate chip cookies.  Holiday time meant 3-layer cookies and a whole assortment of special cookies, that we weren’t allowed to eat until Christmas, and many for just for “others” and not for us.  I remember Mom making a big pot of chili and schlepping it to the cottage where we would all leave her and go snowmobiling in the winter, come back, eat it up, then leave again, leaving the clean up and mess for her.

Mom had her struggles and managed a lot of extra challenges that the Lord placed on her including diabetes and of course her heart.  She faced those challenges as you would have expected her to.  She managed her medication and amazingly at the age of 79 had quintuple heart bypass surgery.  I remember watching her in recovery the day of that surgery and wondered if it was the last time I was going to see or speak to Mom.  Well, St Peter was not ready for her, and it turns out, wasn’t ready for her for quite some time from that day.  She was, and I affectionately use this term….”A TOUGH IRISH BROAD.”

Her job, her wish, her success, her life was raising a family who loved and cared for each other, and to that end she had extreme success.

To her friends she was gracious and grateful, undemanding and unpretentious.  All traits I know she hoped her children could aspire to.

Her generosity wasn’t always monetary.  She volunteered her time at rummage sales and the like, and importantly 16 years as a CCD teacher right here at St Mary’s.

She kept us all connected by her weekly letters, typed on onionskin before there were copiers.  These included weekly news of the family, tidbits and updates, and even food descriptions, whatever, but just enough to fill a couple of typewritten pages to drop in the mail.  She hit the computer age in her 70’s and continued the emails until her late 80’s when it just got too confusing, or not enough news to write about.  The point was the attempt to keep the family connected.

She didn’t necessarily want to “participate” as much as she wanted to “make it happen” for family gatherings.  And, she loved the “stinker”……right Joey?  Jeffrey?

She’d study the crowd and make sure all were involved and if not, she would console to see if she could “fix” it.

She just wanted us to have a good time, especially at the cottage aptly named Never Never Land.  We weren’t supposed to worry or work, but relax and enjoy.

I know Mom is up in heaven right now, likely politicking with St. Peter about getting good seats for the rest of us, when we all know that she’s gonna have MUCH closer seats than any of us.  I know she’s up there, somewhere close to the front row!  I’m sure she’s busy catching up with old friends, and of course her family.  She’s probably got a great game of Bridge going with Uncle Bud right now, playing on a big table loaded full of sweets, candy, cookies and cake….all the things she couldn’t have down here because of her diabetes.  I’m sure if she could tell us, she’d say what she normally did when we were together at the Cottage, or growing up, or at any family gathering… “I’m Fine…. You kids go along now, I’ll be fine…”

Well Mom.  We will go along without you.  But we will not forget you and you will always be with us….right here…in our hearts, forever.  I love you Mom.